Reflections as a New Mom...

Things I’ve learned as a parent of a newborn.  Just some reflections - 

-         Poop is not scary.  I had never changed a diaper before James was born.  I was terrified of baby poop!  As a kid, I cleaned horse stalls on a daily basis, but baby poop was different.  Babies could poop and pee on you while you were changing them.  During my pregnancy, I could not decide if I wanted to use cloth diapers or disposable diapers.  I knew cloth was cheaper, but I also thought that it was dirtier and more hassle.  Several of my friends use cloth and seem to love it, but I was not so sure about how much I would love poop.  At the end of my pregnancy, I finally decided to get a few prefold diapers, some covers, and of course a snappy (to keep the diaper on.  Diaper pins are a thing of the past).  Much to my surprise, James’s poop does not bother me at all.  I am exclusively breastfeeding him, so this is part of the reason his poop is not bad, but I have accidently stuck my finger in his poop and he has peed on me several times.  It’s so crazy, but this does not even remotely bother me.  I’ve never thought “that’s gross” or “yuck!”  I’m glad poop does not bother me.  It’s a very pleasant surprise.  Oh – and another note on the cloth diapers – I’m loving them and I’ve even bought more types of diapers.  I think that it’s becoming a “mommy hobby” for me to research diapers and shop for different types.  I’m becoming a mommy cloth diaper nerd.

-          Cuddling with baby is the best.  James loves to move and be active.  He’s been holding his head up on his own since the day he was born.  When I lay him on my chest, he always lifts his head and moves it around as if he’s checking out the room and he also looks up to check out who’s holding him.  Since he’s a newborn, he will hold his head up like this for a minute or so and then he will suddenly get tired and his head will make a crash landing into my shoulder if I’m not careful.  Finally, when he’s tired enough, he will relax his body and cuddle on my chest.  I love these times.  He’s my little heater.  He makes the cutest sounds and I enjoy listening to his still irregular breathing.  Sometimes I nap with him when we cuddle.  These are some of my favorite times with him so far.

-          Sleep deprivation is real.  I knew that this would be the most challenging aspect of having a newborn for both Ray and me and it’s true that this is for sure the most challenging part.  One night, Ray asked me, “Jessica, do you want me to get James so that you can feed him?”  I responded, “I’m already feeding him.”  Ray said, “No.  You’re not.  He’s in the bassinette.”  I argued, “No, he’s in my arms and I’m feeding him.”  Finally, I realized that I did not have a baby in my arms and that Ray was right.  Boy, I sure was sleep deprived!  During the day James eats about every two hours and at night he eats about every four hours.  This means that the longest stretch of sleep I usually get is around three hours.  At night Ray and I work together to make sure that both of us get as much sleep as possible.  I get up and feed him for about 30 minutes.  Then, Ray gets up to change his diaper and gets him back to sleep.  

-          Support is a necessity.  I don’t know what we would do without wonderful family and friends.  During the first two weeks, friends and family brought us almost every meal.  We were so thankful for that!  I do not know what we would have done without the food.  We either would have starved or paid tons of money to get some type of take out for every meal.  Thankfully, we did not have to do either due to our wonderful family and friends.  It was somewhat difficult for people to bring food because I was instructed to be on a dairy free and gluten free diet for the first three weeks, but friends and family even worked around my diet and brought me some good food.  Now, I’m just dairy free in order to help James’s little digestive system since he’s breastfeeding.  I’m limiting the gluten, but it’s so difficult to take it out completely.  I could not even eat sushi because soy sauce has gluten in it and I wanted some sushi since I did not have it for my entire pregnancy.  Back to the point – I’m so thankful for all the love from family and friends!  And I’m still welcoming more meals :) 

-          Other moms are a wonderful resource.  When James was only one week old, I decided to go to “play group” with some other moms from Westover (our church).  These moms all had their kids in 2012, but most of them were a lot older than James.  I was able to ask them questions and just talk through issues like sleep deprivation, crying that won’t stop, and breastfeeding.  It was so great to know that each stage will not last forever and that each age brings with it new joys and challenges.  My friend, Hannah, taught me how to swaddle James which was a lifesaver!  I had watched videos online to see how to swaddle, but I just could not seem to do it right and I just assumed that James did not want to be swaddled.  When Hannah showed me, I found out that James does love to be swaddled and he sleeps so well when he’s wrapped into a little burrito.  Hanging out with other moms of little kids will be something that I need to do continually.  Then, one day, James will actually be playing with these other kids.

-          Breastfeeding is not always easy.  Thankfully, James has only eaten breast milk so far, but this has not been the easiest thing.  When he was two weeks old, we went to the doctor for his checkup.  He had lost a whole pound.  I felt like a horrible mother, but the doctor assured me that it was not my fault and he wanted to start by supplementing James to see if James just needed some extra calories.  The doctor gave us some donated frozen breast milk and we supplemented James a couple of times a day with a supplemental nursing system with a few extra ounces of milk.  He started gaining an ounce a day and now he’s doing very well and I’m barely supplementing him now.  I’m also pumping some so that I am mostly supplementing him with my milk if he needs extra milk.  I’ve found that it’s helpful to talk to other breastfeeding mothers about their breastfeeding experience.  From my experience, I have found that it is rare to talk to a mom who had zero problems while breastfeeding.  Most mothers experience at least some challenges.  In the end though, I know that it’s so worth it for James to have breast milk for as long as possible.  

-          There’s no greater joy. Pregnancy hardly prepares a mom for motherhood, but I love being a mom.  I had so many fears.  I was afraid of poop.  I was insecure in my ability to hold a newborn.  I was terrified that I would have a crying baby that I would never be able to calm.  However, when he was placed on my chest for the first time, all these fears and insecurities melted away and they have never returned.  I am by no means a perfect mother and I have so much to learn, but gosh – I just love this kid and he brings me so much joy already.  “Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him.” – Psalm 127:3

      

     Here are some updated pictures of the little man these days!  It's so nice to have him on the outside rather than the inside.  People always say: "Wow... he's so tiny!" and my response is: "But think about this boy coming out of you."  It's all about perspective.  What a difference 4 weeks makes!  He is just about back at his birth weight (9 pounds, 5 ounces) in this picture.

 It was tight in there...

 So happy to be free!  And yawning :)

 

 Loving being swaddled in his giraffe blanket - 

 Family of three at my parents' house on my birthday -