The Birth Story

Here's the much anticipated (by some) story of James's birth!  I provide details of the birth, so if you are not comfortable with or uninterested in birth, please stop here.  I share my story because I want other women and families to be encouraged and informed when they become pregnant and think about what they want in a birth.  Women have choices and should feel empowered by birth.  It's an incredible miracle!

Sunday, December 9^th, 2:37am – I suddenly woke up feeling very warm and yet strangely moist.  There was no doubt in my mind.  I knew immediately that my water had broken.  I called Ray’s name and he quickly became alert.  I told him, “Ray, I am pretty sure that my water just broke.”

 

Ray excitedly responded, “Really? Are you sure?”  He turned on the light and there was no denying it.  My water had broken.  We knew that we would be having our baby either this day or the next.  We were so thrilled to know that the journey of labor and delivery had officially begun.

Even though we were filled with emotion and anticipation about the birth of our boy, we knew that the first thing we needed to do was to go back to sleep.  I was not having any contractions or pain with the breaking of my water, so we knew that we had a long few days ahead of us.  We learned, in our Bradley Method childbirth classes, that it is best if your labor begins before your water breaks, but for about 15% of births (mine included), the water breaks before the contractions start.  Basically, it’s like putting the cart in front of the horse.  And once your water breaks, you are on a timeline.  The risk of infection is high if the water is broken and you don’t have the baby within a day or so.  So, we changed the sheets, turned off the lights and laid back down.  

Ray was able to go back to sleep by 3:30, but I was not able to fall asleep until about 4:30.  I thought, “Wow… this is actually going to happen.” And then I worried, “Oh no, I bet my cervix is not doing much of anything and I need to have this baby soon.  What if contractions don’t start?  What if they have to give me Pitocin (a drug used to induce labor that I really wanted to avoid)?  What if none of that works and I end up having to have a C-Section?”  And then I realized that I just needed to pray.  “Lord, help me to relax.  Help me to find peace in You.  You know this child and have numbered his days.  I know that Your plans are good.” And so after worry and prayer, I fell asleep for a couple of hours.

Around 6:30am Ray and I both woke up and we knew that it was time to stay up.  Ray got us cereal and orange juice and we enjoyed breakfast in bed.  We got our Bradley Method book out to review a few things from class.  We also discussed the details of our birth plan.  Since I knew that I would be given medication to induce labor, we wanted to be on the same page about how that changed the birth plan.  I told Ray that I definitely did not want an epidural, but that I was not opposed to an intravenous pain medication if labor was slow and not progressing.  This was not in our original plan, but I was very thankful that we discussed it before going to the hospital.  

I decided that it was time to call the midwife on call at 7:30am.  We made a very intentional decision before I got pregnant to receive our care through midwives rather than doctors.  We chose the midwives from Central Carolina OB-GYN.  Doctors are wonderful and do amazing things, but my pregnancy was uncomplicated and we felt like it would be best to get care from people who believe in as little medical intervention as possible.  Our goal was for a natural birth and we knew that the midwives held those same goals.  Rather than having to fight for our birth goals, we would be supported and we could trust that interventions would happen as a last resort.  Throughout the entire pregnancy, labor, and delivery, the midwives from Central Carolina were awesome and respected and encouraged our desires that we had as a family.  

So, I called.  I was excited and relieved to hear Hillary’s voice on the other end.  Even though Central Carolina has 4 midwives, I had primary been seen by Hillary and Vicki and I was hoping that one of them would be on call for my labor and delivery.  Hillary told me to be at the hospital by lunchtime so that we could discuss options to really start labor.  

After I got off the phone with Hillary, I wanted to clean the house.  I am a little obsessive (Ray would say that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) about having my house clean and I guess it was my last opportunity to “nest” before we had him.  It was such a cool thing to think that the next time I would come home to my house, I would be bringing a baby to it!  I also knew that if I came home to a clean house then I would have one less thing to think about as a new mom.   Ray and I did laundry, did the dishes, straightened everything, finished packing our hospital bags, packed the car, and we finally left the house.  

Ray stopped the car as we were pulling out of the driveway to pray. Now we were ready to go to the hospital.  Pause.  We had to do something before we arrived at the hospital.  We had to eat.  Food is very important to me.  It always has been.  I knew that this meal was quite possibly the last real meal that I could eat for the next couple of days.  I wanted to make it a good meal.  The only problem was that it was 10:00am and I wanted a hamburger and French fries.  We decided to go to Jay’s Deli in Friendly Center.  They were open at 10:00am and serving lunch on a Sunday morning.  I was delighted.  We ordered our food and chatted.  We relished our “date” with just the two of us because we knew that this type of thing may be a little more challenging in the future.

We left the restaurant and headed to the hospital around 11:00am.  When we got there, I was sent to triage to make sure that my water had actually broken.  Ha.  If there was any doubt, I could have taken a picture of my bed.  Once they confirmed that it was indeed my water that broke, Hillary checked my cervix to see my progress.  She told us that I was less than 1 cm dilated (if you don’t know much about birth – your goal is 10 cm before you can start pushing).  Then, she sat at my bedside and discussed options for inducing labor.  Basically, since contractions did not start, this was going to be an induction.  All of us agreed that we wanted to avoid Pitocin if we were able.  Pitocin causes very intense contractions which can lead to a series of other unwanted interventions.  Hillary said that she thought that we should start with a drug called Cytotec.  Cytotec is not officially made to induce labor and I knew that some research has shown that it could possibly cause a woman’s uterus to rupture.  I asked Hillary about this and she said that it is possible, but that in 10 years, she’s never seen it happen.  We decided that this was what we should do.  Hillary also told us that usually Cytotec just starts to help the cervix thin and efface rather than making women actually go into active labor.  She said I may have some period-like cramping, but that this would probably be a lengthy process and Cytotec was just going to help get the process started.

Finally, at 3:00pm, we made the transition from triage to our labor and delivery room.  It took a long time to move us because so many women were in labor.  This was possibly from a storm system that came in the area.  Sometimes a change in pressure makes water break prematurely.  I was not the only one in the hospital with that scenario the same day.  It also took a long time to get to our room because they gave us the largest room in the hospital so that we would have room to set up our water-birth tub.  Once we got in the room, Ray brought everything in from the car and we finally felt more settled.  Hillary did not put me on a diet, so Ray was able to leave the hospital and go to Panera to pick up dinner.  Ray had returned from Panera and we were eating when they brought the Cytotec.  I took the dose and we watched the end of the Panthers’ football game.  I am an avid Panthers’ fan and I enjoy watching the NFL, so the game was a welcomed distraction.

About an hour after I took the Cytotec, around 5:00pm, contractions had already started and were coming regularly every three minutes.  At this point, the contractions were tolerable.  I sat on the birthing ball (which is akin to an exercise ball) and Ray rubbed my back.  I was able to talk through them, but I wanted Ray to rub my back because most of the pain was in my lower back. The contractions continued to get stronger and stronger.  Eventually, I was not able to talk and became disinterested in the later football games.  

Hillary had been in and out of my room the past few hours, but when she came in around 7:00pm and saw that I could only talk to her between contractions, she was very excited about the progress.  We decided to take another dose of the Cytotec at 8:00pm.  As time went on, contractions became more painful.  The pain was most intense in my lower back.  I have had back surgery in my lower back, so I am just more sensitive to any type of feeling in that region of my body.  Ray continued to massage my back and I used the birth ball to rock back and forth.  Eventually, I decided to get in the shower because often times warm water can help relieve the pain.  The shower helped a little, but I was very cold in the shower so it made my body shake and get tense.  You want to try to be as relaxed as possible during labor, so after awhile, I decided to get out of the shower.  

Near midnight, Hillary came back to the room and wanted to check me to see my progress.  We wanted to know how well the Cytotec was working and if we should move on to something else.  When she checked, I was about 3cm.  It’s best not to check for progress during the course of labor because it can be discouraging.  Hearing that I was only 3cm was discouraging to me because I had no idea how much longer I would be in labor.  It seemed like I was going to be in labor indefinitely.  I was exhausted at this point and I felt like I needed a break, so we decided not to take another dose of Cytotec or move on to Pitocin.  We just wanted to wait for a little while and see if I could get any rest.

It seemed that my body was well in labor on its own or that the Cytotec was still lingering, because the pain continued to become even more intense even when I was not on any medication to induce labor.  By 1:30am, I told Ray that I wanted to see Hillary to talk to her about some type of medication that would just allow me to sleep for an hour or two.  Hillary came and I told her that I wanted as little medication as possible.  She suggested a drug called Fentanyl because it has minimal side effects and usually only lasts about 45 minutes.  Once I got an IV and they gave me the drug, I feel asleep almost immediately.  Ray and I slept for about an hour.

I abruptly woke up around 3:00am and told Ray that I needed to push.  The urge was strong.  He called the nurse and she came in quickly.  You don’t want to push until they check you because you could damage your cervix if you push before you are 10cm.  I tried not to push until Hillary got there, but I could not help it.  I had to push.  I pushed just a little and my bag of waters came out.  My water had already broken, but this was the actual bag with more fluid inside.  Immediately after doing this, I felt relief.  

Hillary checked me again at this point and to my amazement, I was 8cm.  This was incredibly encouraging.  Ray got the water birth tub out and began filling it.  While he was filling the tank, the pain was intense, but I accepted it and just tried to breathe though it.  I knew that I would be meeting my boy soon, so I was able to tolerate the pain much better than I did before I took the Fentanyl.  

Once the tub was full, I got inside and sat down.  Right away, I felt completely relaxed.  Five minutes later Hillary checked me and I was 10cm.  It was go time!  If I could do this over again, I would have used the tub earlier – when she told me that I was 3cm.  The only reason that we did not do this is because the midwives suggest waiting to use the tub until you are 4-5cm.  The water was amazing though – it was so warm and made me relax.  I guess you live and learn.

I started pushing in the tub, but after about 30 minutes, Hillary was not very satisfied with my progress.  Because it was so relaxing in the tub, it was hard for me to really push.  She did not want me to run out of energy pushing in the water and get nowhere.  So, she made me get out of the tub and I got back in bed.  She gave me freedom to push in any position, but I decided to lay in the bed with my back on an incline.  Ray grabbed my left leg and the nurse grabbed my right leg.  Hillary coached me through the pushing and I was making progress.

Finally, they told me that they could see his head.  Hillary told me that he had a lot of hair and that she thought that it was brown.  I responded, “It can’t be brown.  I know that my baby has blonde hair.”  She cleaned off his head and indeed I was right – he was a blonde.  I continued to push, but I was slow in my progress.  It took so much energy with each push to really make progress and then it was difficult to recuperate between pushes because I was so out of breath.  I kept telling Ray these two things: “He’s never going to come out” and “I can’t do this.”  Deep down, I did not believe these things, but when I said them Ray, Hillary, and the nurse all strongly reinsured me that I would make it and that he was coming out.  I needed that encouragement.  

Since pushing took a long time, I was quietly mentally preparing myself for a “cone-head” baby.  I was also somewhat happy though that it took a long time to push because I knew that when you take a long time to push, usually you don’t tear as much.  

Finally, his head was really coming out.  I reached down and felt his head several times and this made me keep pushing stronger and stronger.  The part that was most obnoxious to me during the pushing was the wireless monitor used to monitor James.  The nurse held the monitor very low on me and it just drove me crazy.  When it got really bad, I asked if they could take it off and Hillary let them take the monitor off of me a few times while pushing.  Thankfully, we never had any scares or anything out of the ordinary with James on the monitor during the entire labor.  The other part that drove me crazy about pushing was how much James was moving as he was on his journey to the world.  As I pushed, he would move around and his movements were even more painful than the “ring of fire.”  The ring of fire is a labor term and I don’t think anyone could understand what that feels like unless you have given birth.    

After about 1 1/2 hours of pushing in bed and one last good push, his head was completely out.  Another small push and the rest of his body came.  He was born on Monday, December 10^th, at 6:26am.  They placed him on my chest and I just started crying.  I cried tears of joy, tears of relief, and tears of thankfulness.  And then I asked the all important question – “Is he still a boy?”  Everyone laughed and confirmed that yes, he was a boy for sure.  I was shocked by his appearance.  He was so heavy on my belly!  I was also wrong about that cone head part – his head was perfectly round with his chubby cheeks.  His color was all pink and he looked so healthy.  

All Hillary could say was, “Wow – you’ve got a great pelvis because that is a huge baby!”  He weighed 9 pounds and 5 ounces.  He stayed on my chest for about five minutes and Ray cut the cord.  Then, they moved him off of me for third stage of labor.  Ray held James skin to skin while Hillary had to repair the “damage” James did to me on his entrance to the world.  After Hillary was finished, Ray gave James to me and he began breastfeeding immediately.  He was one hungry boy after that long journey!  

Ray and I were both thrilled about the birth experience.  I was so thankful that I never had to use Pitocin and that I was never in danger of needing a C-section.  God was so good to us and we are so grateful for our son and our story.  

 

 Thanks for reading our story!